As an American university offers a module in Lady Gaga and the Sociology of Fame, we wonder what might be on the syllabus ...
It would certainly make for a memorable episode of The Apprentice. Lord Sugar turns his face, strangely like that of a bored dachshund, towards some incompetent besuited buffoon, raises an accusatory finger and barks: "Alright gimpo, I gave you the task to design and sell as many hats as possible around Canary Wharf, and you sold precisely none of your 12-foot marmalade headpieces in the shape of the Arc de Triomphe. Why shouldn't I fire you right now?" To which the cringing moron stammers, "I don't understand it, Lord Sugar. As you see from my CV I have the perfect qualifications for this task: a 2.2 in Lady Gaga ..."
As if capless tuition fees and crippling student debts won't make it hard enough for graduates leaving higher education, there's now the possibility they may be lumbered with a �90,000 loan and a qualification gained from taking lessons in Lady Gaga. It's something even humanities students would sneer at, since logically the only career choice at the end of the course is, well, the post of Lady Gaga, which I suspect might be something of a closed shop, no matter how well connected your parents might be.
That Professor Mathieu Deflem, the academic introducing the module ? entitled Lady Gaga and the Sociology of Fame ? at the University of South Carolina, reportedly owns hundreds of copies of Gaga's (one) album, has followed the singer on tour, and met her often enough that she knows him by name. He suggests the module could turn out to be an undersubscribed self-indulgence, and a prelude to Deflem building his own Gaga Institute out of his copies of The Fame or lobbying for his university to be renamed the University of South Germanotta.
Nonetheless, there are issues to be studied here: for example, the blink-quick image-shifting Gaga utilises to reflect her audience's consumption habits as the first truly net-generational superstar, or her rise as a social-networking phenomenon (although in teaching this topic Deflem should surely start at Justin Bieber and work his way down). But those will only take up a couple of lectures, and this module has to last an entire semester. So what else could we learn during our Gaga BA Hons seminars?
Advanced Abattoir Fashion 2.1
Study topics: does ham clash with beef jerky this season? How best to stitch a steak to a trotter? Could you get away with wearing a whole inside-out cow to the Grammys next year? In addition, the pitfalls of meat clobber: how to avert the inevitable "wardrobe malfunction" associated with walking past Battersea Dog's Home, or the best ways to evade Johnny Vegas and his gigantic bap.
The Postmodern Pop Glare 3.7
Study topics: gormlessness training ? how to drain yourself of all character and charisma so utterly that your entire personality is transferred into your clothes; thinking of the money ? how to perfect the ultimate dead-eyed photoshoot stare; and magazine cover etiquette ? topless or not topless? (Answer: topless. Obviously.)
Androgyny for Beginners 1.1
Study topics: how to start your own viral penis rumour; how to make your jockstrap double as a useful picnicking container; the bubble-wrap leotard: Barbarella chic or disappointing night down at Manumission?
Applied Crazy Talk 7.3
Study topics: bisexuality can be made to sound really, really boring ? discuss; the horrific personal and cultural consequences of the phrase "pop stars should not eat"; 10 examples of vaguely surreal gibberish designed to freak out Graham Norton; how to drop in the odd genius spark of self-awareness: "A year from now I could go away and people might say, 'Gosh, whatever happened to that girl who never wore pants?'"
Source: http://www.guardian.co.uk/music/2010/nov/05/lady-gaga-sociology-fame-degree
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